Leavenworth

Luna and I spent the last week in Leavenworth with my parents, sister Sarah and cousin Cooper.  We just relaxed, hung out and did a little shopping during nap times.  Here are some photos:

Grandma and Luna enjoying the balcony and beautiful view.

The view of the mountains from our room.

Sunset

Grandpa with the Grandkids, Cooper loved trying to get Luna's pacifier.

Now that I have it what do I do with it?

Luna's big accomplishment for the week, clapping. She is so proud of herself.

Open or Closed

Brian and I have recently been talking about when we will "open" our home for more foster children.  For a while there we just wanted to be able to focus on Luna, so since June we have not taken in any new children.

I must say it has been nice to not be wondering every time the phone rings what it may bring.  I also have enjoyed being able to make plans a few months out knowing how many and what age child I will have.  At the beginning,  I struggled with feeling guilty, we are licensed for 3 children but for the last 7 months have had only 1, leaving 2 open spots.  The guilt came from believing that God had "called" us to be fosterparents and wanting to make sure I was being completely faithful and obedient to that calling.  But as I prayed about this internal struggle I realized that God was not just or only calling us to be fosterparents but instead was calling us to be Luna's Mom and Dad for the time being, how ever long that may be.  So that means thinking about her needs as her Mommy and Daddy, hence the focus on just Luna time.

Luna is now 13 months old and the conversation has changed a bit.  Now we are thinking more along the lines of a sibling for her, not wanting them to be too close in age or too far apart.  I chuckle when we spend too much time on this because one thing I have learned from the whole process is that I have absolutely no control and to think I do is comical.  The first child that comes through our door could stay forever or there could be 10 more before one needs a permanent home. So I guess we will just leave that in someone else's hands.

Number of Children

When I was growing up I always thought I would have lots of children, at least 6.  I liked the idea of a big family with lots of people around, someone always to hang out with.  The idea of 6 was just that an idea, I had no concept the time and energy that went into raising a child.

Well now that I have had a few children come and go I have come to realize that I could not do 6 children.  I love the individual time with each one and still being able to have my own time as well. With each new child there is a significant decrease in "me time" for both Brian and me as well as for each child.

So now in the middle of my child rearing years I have come to terms with having less then 6 children.  But today at my toddler play group/class, the teacher was commenting how she only wanted one child but they eventually had two.  Both of her children are in college now.  She said if she could go back she would had at least 5, that they were her happiest years.  A little later she commented how she is reading the same books as her daughter is at college so they can discuss them.   I thought how if she had 5 she might not now have the time to read the books along with her daughter and may not be at this place in life she is now, it would have been a very different road. Maybe she could do 5 kids and do it well, I really don't know her.  I just know I can't do 6 :)

Seasons of Sleep with a Baby

We all know that once you have kids you never sleep the same.  Well Brian and I love to sleep, and I mean LOVE.  I can easily sleep 8-9 hours every night, with out problem.  I have to admit that one of my weird worries about not having our own biological children (who would of course get our love of sleep genes) was that we may have a child that is not a big sleeper. I know, silly thing to worry about...

Well Luna has over all been a great sleeper.  But of course we have had the times of waking up early and by early I mean anything before 7am.  I am not a very happy camper before 7am.  So those mornings as I am rocking her, I am thinking what is wrong with her that she is not sleeping in more, what is the problem.  Then I spend the next day being super discipled about her nap schedule in hopes that it helps her sleep in a little longer.   I am spoiled I know it but I am a much happier Mommy if my little Luna alarm clock does not go off until after 7.

Well lately she has become a sleeping machine.  Sleeping 12+ hours at night and taking a 3.5 hour nap during the day.  To the point where in the morning I am having to wake her up so we can get to our appointments on time. So while you would think I would just be enjoying the extra sleep, I find myself wondering what is wrong with her that she is sleeping so much.  

Why can't I just be happy? (such a theme in life in general) I get upset when she does not sleep enough and then when she sleeps extra I worry about what is wrong....Really my question should be what is wrong with me?  I even brought it up to the doctor at her 12 month appointment, and he chuckled and told me to enjoy it while it lasts.  Because it too will pass.  But for the moment I am enjoying this season of ample sleep.